Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high-tech corporation.

The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes, #1,#2, and #3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

A blonde woman was in deep financial trouble, so decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

A great dane, a scotty, and a chihuahua were sitting in a bar, knocking back a few, when a beautiful bitch walked in.

"Okay, boys," she purred. "I'll make a very happy dog out of whoever can come up with the best proposition, using the words 'cheese' and 'liver'."

Taken from some real-life perfomance reviews:


Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.